Dear World,
When someone announces that she is expecting a new baby, the customary and automatic response is, "Congratulations" (or some variant thereof). It is not, "You're pregnant too??? Oh my gosh, EVERYONE is having babies right now..." It is also not, "Just wait 'til you have 3 (or some number more than what you have or will have when the new one is born)...that's when things really get interesting." While you may mean well by saying such things, make no mistake about it, you have just been rude and insensitive and, in the instance of response #2, condescending.
Similarly, if one feels the need to express a struggle that he or she is having with, say, a toddler-aged person, you have a few options...NONE of which is to tell said expresser that the NEXT phase in child-rearing is actually the hard one or that, again, if he/she had x number of children then they'd know struggle. World, while all of us know that venting and complaining isn't the most productive way to cure frustration, we also all know that sometimes we're just weak like that...and kicking us while we're down is just not nice.
In addition, hear this. There is only one acceptable thing to tell a pregnant woman about her appearance, and it goes: "You look great!" If making this statement threatens your moral fiber, because it involves a slight truth-bending, let Mama Liz tell you what to do. Just don't say anything at all. Shocking, I know, that you might actually keep your mouth shut as opposed to exercising your God-given right to spew venom...err, I mean, candor. But trust me on this...everyone likes a little ass, nobody likes a jackass. Really.
So, there you have it folks, and now you know. Go forth, do good, and be nice to each other. Also, if you have rules of your own to contribute to this post, by all means, put them in the comments section...I'd love to read them!!
**Note, I do realize that I may not be the most qualified individual to post on good manners...Lord knows I misstep in this department more often than I can rightly say. However, I chose a topic within Manners 101 that I do know a thing or two about. And no, not all of these things have been said to me...some are just grudges that I've picked up for my friends. And, yes, I know that picking up someone else's grudge isn't, what one might call, a good idea.**
8 comments:
For starters, this is glorious!!! Might be one of my favorite posts ever.
I would add, don't give any pregnancy/child-rearing advice unless asked. Or if you've been in a lengthy, detailed conversation where the "asking" is very obviously 100% welcomed. Your pregnancy/child experience can be 100% different than someone else's even though you could swear it's exactly alike. More than likely, unless your advice is earth shattering and never been discovered before, the said person has already tried it and, since every situation is different, didn't work for her. So, it's best to just lend a listening ear and sympathetic facial expressions instead of your advice that nobody asked for :-)
OMG you have me racking my brain to think of all the things we talked about the other day at our mini-reunion. hope i didn't step on anyone's toes.
OMG you have me racking my brain to think of all the things we talked about the other day at our mini-reunion. hope i didn't step on anyone's toes.
Great post! You do look fabulous by the way. I can't wait to hear about baby Jameson's arrival!! You are such a awesome mommy!!
No brain-racking, Sara. This is a post directed towards people who are judgy know-it-alls, many who lurk facebook statuses looking for opportunities to be snarky...not towards hilarious mom friends who actually have standing and cred (i.e. you). :)
oh no, I am the queen of over analyzing every sentence that spews out of my mouth and now I am racking my brain through all the conversations we've had over the past 38 weeks and hoping I am not one of these people you blogged so eloquently about, (I shared part of the blog w/ Dustin) and I laughed my b-hiney off several times.
Oh Jenna, see above reply to Sara...that's for you too. You two are some of my favorite mouths of all time. Like, you have no idea...:)
How about... when a pregnant lady is at the beginning of a 32 hour induction process, don't tell her that her child is already being a "challenge" because he squirmed around and the belly monitors need readjusting. The child is nothing short of perfection, and that's that. Oh, and don't call the little one a "wimpy white boy" just because he's a little early, and the docs are concerned. Enjoyed the post, E!
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